“So anyway that’s why I drive a taxi !”
“Hello ? Hello ?”
Bloody marvelous innit - someone actually asks you a question - and you give them a thoughtful and considered reply and you look and BOOM - asleep. I mean it only took me from Knightsbridge to Chiswick to tell him the story. Bloody tourists.
Sleep though - an interesting concept - must try it some time - but with the missus as she is - well you know - I like to be ‘out’ - if you know what I mean.
“Oh - morning sir - catching a little nap there were you ?”
“Yes - I know - the ‘rocking rhythms’ of the taxi are very restful aren’t they.”
Hell fire - I’ve got a live one here ‘rocking rhythms’ - first time I’ve heard that one since I did the knowledge.
“Yes - sir. Born and bred - within the sound of Bells of Bow - your actual cockney - alive and well - transporting you to you destination”
“Well sir, back in the day for me it was either the knowledge or driving a bus - and me ? Me - i like my freedom. So buckling down when I was young - allowed me to have the freedoms later. It all worked out.”
“Did you enjoy your stay sir?”
“Oh - do NOT get me started on that wally.” Gor blimey - he’s not a man of about him is he - just listen to him talk - with that plummy accent - and half the words he uses you can’t even find in a normal dickshunry. Aah - he ain’t one of us - he needs to stand down and get someone else running the show before Cameron makes a complete balls of it … know what I mean ?”
“Well sir - just consider his position on anything - and you will son come to realize that he is just a wolf in sheep clothing.”
“Well sir - I mean someone who isn’t what we think he is - and is actually a lot worse.”
“Where you from sir?”
“Oh yes - now I’ve heard that’s a bootyful country - not been there myself mind - but never heard a bad thing about it.”
“Well - yes - apart from the inflation.”
“Yeah and the unemployment - that must be a problem.”
“Gang crime … I know - well you never get to read much about that in the papers - so sorry you have that.”
“Oh you have immigration issues aswell do you? Well - I never knew.”
“Yeah - we have the 1% issues here aswell guv - but what you going to do ?”
“Anyway gov - we’re pulling into Heathrow now - terminal 3 right?”
“There we go - well - listen - have a good trip back to Wales - as I said - lovely country.”