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Taxi Chronicles - We’re All In It Together | JPhilpin

“So anyway that’s why I drive a taxi !”

“Hello ? Hello ?”

Bloody marvelous innit - someone actually asks you a question - and you give them a thoughtful and considered reply and you look and BOOM - asleep. I mean it only took me from Knightsbridge to Chiswick to tell him the story. Bloody tourists.

Sleep though - an interesting concept - must try it some time - but with the missus as she is - well you know - I like to be ‘out’ - if you know what I mean.

“Oh - morning sir - catching a little nap there were you ?”

“Yes - I know - the ‘rocking rhythms’ of the taxi are very restful aren’t they.”

Hell fire - I’ve got a live one here ‘rocking rhythms’ - first time I’ve heard that one since I did the knowledge.

“Yes - sir. Born and bred - within the sound of Bells of Bow - your actual cockney - alive and well - transporting you to you destination”

“Well sir, back in the day for me it was either the knowledge or driving a bus - and me ? Me - i like my freedom. So buckling down when I was young - allowed me to have the freedoms later. It all worked out.”

“Did you enjoy your stay sir?”

“Oh - do NOT get me started on that wally.” Gor blimey - he’s not a man of about him is he - just listen to him talk - with that plummy accent - and half the words he uses you can’t even find in a normal dickshunry. Aah - he ain’t one of us - he needs to stand down and get someone else running the show before Cameron makes a complete balls of it … know what I mean ?”

“Well sir - just consider his position on anything - and you will son come to realize that he is just a wolf in sheep clothing.”

“Well sir - I mean someone who isn’t what we think he is - and is actually a lot worse.”

“Where you from sir?”

“Oh yes - now I’ve heard that’s a bootyful country - not been there myself mind - but never heard a bad thing about it.”

“Well - yes - apart from the inflation.”

“Yeah and the unemployment - that must be a problem.”

“Gang crime … I know - well you never get to read much about that in the papers - so sorry you have that.”

“Oh you have immigration issues aswell do you? Well - I never knew.”

“Yeah - we have the 1% issues here aswell guv - but what you going to do ?”

“Anyway gov - we’re pulling into Heathrow now - terminal 3 right?”

“There we go - well - listen - have a good trip back to Wales - as I said - lovely country.”


I had been going through my files and sorting out some of my older writing and discovered a series of posts relating to Taxis.

Taxi Chronicles are a short series of stories I wrote around 2014.

I was exploring the issues I have with Uber as an organization I saw as badly exploiting people. I set up a twitter account and started to write and comment. It’s kind of what I do - someone should have invited me to join the Grumpy Old Men show!

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