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Taxi Chronicles - Travis

Another story I wrote based on news I read at the end of 2014. The story is meant to be in the voice’ of a London Black Cab Driver.

Morning Guvnor - where too then ?

Eathrow it is then. Terminal 5. That’s BA then. And where in this glorious world are you eading to ?

Sydney ! Blimey guv - you know what’s going on down there don’t you ?

Oh right - they’ve called you in. Of COURSE they ave.

Counter Terrorism is it ?

No Guv - you don’t need to kill me if you tell me - I get the drift.

Anyway - I can tell you don’t want to talk - but ere’s the thing - just call up Travis Kalanick. He’s in control.

Travis ? CEO of Uber guv.

Well - it’s obvious innit.

Uber have had a bit of a hard time down under - know what I mean … but wallop - one Terrroist in a chocolate cafe - and bobs your uncle. First they charge 4 times the usual for all their rides - absolutely coining it - and then - just as the complaints roll in - suddenly free rides … Uber the hero … cos nobody remembers - do they gov.

Here’s what I would do - check out Travis - bet you’ll find that the Terrorist is an Uber driver. I mean when you add up the rapes, attacks and killings across the world attributed to Uber drivers …. well Terrorism is a slam dunk. Know what I mean.

Up next Taxi Chronicles - Boris You got to love Boris - friend of London - friend of Cabbies - and now sticking it to the Yanks. Love it. Love, love love. Seems like he is ignoring Taxi Chronicles - We’re All In It Together “So anyway that’s why I drive a taxi !” “Hello ? Hello ?” Bloody marvelous innit - someone actually asks you a question - and you
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