The Tesla Buying Experience

Not All Experience’s Are Good


I’m confused by an ecosystem in which you need to meet archiac standards for a passport, which is a vital piece of identification (for example, it is a big help to getting a car which massively improves standard of life) whilst any rich dickhead can get their hands on and use these advanced weapons with relative ease.

Simon Woods

(Find more about Simon here and here)

I was in a shopping mall recently and so used the rare occasion to wander into the Tesla store - mall’s being where Tesla keep their Auto Stores - rather than the perfectly acceptable equivalent in ‘Auto Row’ where all other car dealers operate.

Anyway - that is another rant. This is referencing the fact that the three core Tesla models were on show - and - a rough guesstimate that some 30 to 35 ‘people’ were in there. The volume of sound was - to borrow a phrase - all the way up yo 11.

People in ‘commas’ because around 15 of those ‘people’ were kids - but not nice kids - loud, excited, sugar fueled, obnoxious kids that thought that they were in a playground. And the cars were the equivalent of swings, roundabouts, jungle jims and slides.

It was impossible to look at a car up close and personal - let alone actually sit in one. All three cars driver seats were occupied by a child in the sub 9 year old category.

No single adult seemed to be in charge of said sugar farms. Nobody seemed interested in helping someone without kids that might be interested in learning more.

I think that this buying process is a filter that ensures that only self involved, loud, narcissistic, moronic people manage to get through the hoops and and actually buy said battery on wheels. No paper ID needed - oh no - you are filtered by character right at the beginning of the sales funnel. (1)

  1. … normally I don’t use the term funnel in describing a buying process. I find it a bad, mechanical, non human term that drives the thinking of a corporation to treat their market places as mindless automons that need to be processes - not as people - but in this case - funnel is absolutely the correct term.

June 8, 2018