When You Can’t Say Anything Nice

Readers of The Chaps might be forgiven…

… for the mistaken impression that the Brits are always unfailingly polite and eschew indulgent pungency. The Chaps being in the nature of proper English Chaps, and all that, and aware of our status as guests in another country, do tend to be fairly polite and circumspect regarding prominent characters in U.S. life.

Until now, that is, when we finally have the opportunity to indulge in some of the wonderful phrases the Brits – and our less-reserved Northern neighbors – reserve for well-deserved insults. And what better target than this one?

MAGA Man himself, seen here surrounded by golfballs bearing his new brand

Indeed, it was an appearance at a new golf course in Scotland, shortly after the Brexit vote, that brought forth the above-trailed pungency. Because Trump made the mistake of issuing a boastful tweet, bragging about how the Scots – given a choice – opted for independence from the EU. Except that they voted for the opposite…

Cockwomble. Incompressible jizztrumpet. Shitgibbon. Tit, just tit. Cocksplat! Muppet! Mangled apricot hellbeast!


Sigh. It’s (almost) enough to make one pine for the old homestead.

Speaking of insults, here’s the incomparable Stephen Colbert on Trump’s two-day-gestated statement on hate groups.

BUT … as an added bonus - since my assumption is that anyone who is reading ‘And Another Thing’ is also watching Colbert - here’s a back story. In the middle of that monologue we hear ..

If wishes and buts were clusters of nuts, we’d all have a bowl of granola!

… thought you might like to note that this is a self-referential quote from a show called Strangers With Candy, going back to the pre iPhone years of 1999/2000 .. a single Comedy Central series co-created and written by …. Stephen Colbert. Those words were spoken by the character Jellineck played by another co-creator Paul Dinello

Just one other quote from the show that was Colbert’s character … his humor already very evident.

Now where did we leave off yesterday? Ah, yes, the rape of the American West by the soulless red man. Now, no one’s really sure what the Indians were doing to the buffalo, but it must have been pretty damn sick, because millions of these noble animals committed suicide by jumping in front of the white man’s guns.

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